Christian Mentors, College age women, Moms, Parents, Public Speaking, Stay at Home Moms, Teachers, Uncategorized, women, Women in Ministry, Women's Ministries, Writers

You can’t push when you’re in Transition…

I recently heard this phrase and it really hit a cord within my deepest heart.

“You can’t push when you’re in transition.”

Um, yep…I’ve had first hand experience with this fact. The person who said it (and I wish I could give them credit for it but I heard it on the radio and don’t remember who it was exactly) well, they weren’t referring to childbirth, but that’s how it resonated with me. After having three children, one with an epidural and two without, I know the feeling of transition.

It was different with all three but the second birth I experienced was the one I remember the most of what it’s like to go through transition.

I started laboring around 5:30am and decided to sit in my rocking chair in the living room. I woke up my husband to join me but told him to go back to sleep on the couch. I was sure I was in for many many hours of labor ahead of me, but I wanted him to be near me just in case.

By 6am, things were moving along quite rapidly and I woke him up by throwing my slippers at him, told him to go shower and call the grandma’s…this baby was on its way!

By 6:30am, I was in full-blown transition. I just didn’t know it. This was nothing of what I had experienced with our first child and it was totally freaking me out!

There is not a lot of room in a woman’s body for the baby to do what it needs to do, so it still amazes me that the birthing process takes as long as it does. But God has a reason for that…He knows we are slow to take things in most of the time and our brain needs time to process the reality of what is happening.

I did everything I could do get comfortable.  The rocking chair wasn’t working, the exercise ball wasn’t working, walking or standing wasn’t working. So, by 7am, the way my husband found me in the living room was quite a shock…on my hands and knees doing “cat stretches”.  That was the only thing that was remotely comfortable…and I use that word sparingly. Ha!

What I was experiencing was in fact, transition. That sweet little babe of ours was making her way to meet us. And as slow as the process seemed, it actually happened quite fast. By the time we got to the hospital at 7:20am, I was in the birthing room at 7:30am and she was born at 7:48am!  Yep….very quick!

As much as I wanted to have that baby, I could not push in the transition phase. It wasn’t possible anyway. No amount of willpower could have worked.

I simply had to go through it!

So if you’re still hanging with me here through my story…here’s the tie-in for transitions in life.

You cannot make a transition in your life happen any faster than it is meant to be.

To graduate from college, you’ve got to take the classes and do the work and it will usually take ya about 4 years to accomplish this goal.

When you buy a house, it normally takes many months to find “the perfect one”, then you put in the bid, then you go through escrow, then it’s yours! Unless that first bid falls through and you’re back in the searching phase until you find the one that all falls into place.

If you’re cooking a gourmet meal, it takes more than a few minutes. You have to do all the prep of shopping for the ingredients, chopping, slicing, measuring, marinating, etc., then the cooking….and then the eating!

But the transitions that are something the most difficult is when there is not a specific timeline that you can count on. Those are the times where the faith and trust we have in the Lord’s plan for our lives comes in full force.

You can’t push past the lessons that need to be learned. I mean, you can, but instead of moving yourself forward, you are really taking tremendous leaps backwards. There are necessary reasons why the Lord takes us down one path and someone else down a different path. We are all different and we all have something special to learn and grow through in order to give us the story and testimony that God intends for us to have.

Transition literally means*: movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change.

Just as baby must go through changes to become a toddler, then a young child, to a teen, then an adult (and various stages of adulthood!); we too have spiritual stages we travel through.

I Corinthians 13:10-12 describes transition to us this way, But when that which is complete and perfect comes, that which is incomplete and partial will pass away. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now [in this time of imperfection] we see in a mirror dimly [a blurred reflection, a riddle, an enigma], but then [when the time of perfection comes we will see reality] face to face. Now I know in part [just in fragments], but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known [by God].

Each phase of life we go through, transitions will come and go. They have to make us feel unstable though. Standing firm in the foundation of God’s truth, we will always find stability to make it through each challenge we face. It is in those moments we can cry out to the Lord and ask Him to help us, to hold us, to keep us standing in the midst of transition and difficulty.

When a toddler is learning to walk and falls down, their parents don’t say, “Well, you tried that walking thing and it didn’t work out. We’ll just carry you around forever.” Quite the opposite!  They applaud that sweet child for their efforts and encourage them to get up and try again. I bet you can look back over your life, or over the past month for that matter, and see how God has used others to encourage you to get back up and try again. Because He knows that as you grow and transition into new stages of your life, you can use your experiences to encourage other people to do the same!  Get up and try again!

Isaiah 33:6 AMP “And He will be the security and stability of your times, a treasure of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; The fear of the Lord is your treasure.”

The Lord will always be our stability at each stage of life; personal, emotional, spiritual, and everything in between. He is the foundation we need to stand on (or kneel on!) when we are weaving through the stages of transition in our life. Going through something difficult is when we must rely on His strength. We can find a prayerful position to be in as we go through the transition. The pain, exhaustion, questioning, frustration ~ it’s all worth it in the end when we realize what God was getting ready to birth within us or from us!

Don’t fight it ~ engage in it!  There are various amounts of struggle that comes with transition…that struggle doesn’t mean you are doing the wrong thing. God is stretching you and what comes to fruition because of it, will be glorious!!

I’d love to hear what God is birthing in your heart & soul today!  Feel free to share!! Because when we share our dreams out loud, they are given a new life and the freedom we can experience is remarkable!

Ephesians 4:15 AMP says, “But speaking the truth in love [in all things—both our speech and our lives expressing His truth], let us grow up in all things into Him [following His example] who is the Head—Christ.”

 

Blessings,

René

 

*https://www.dictionary.com/browse/transition

 

Christian Mentors, College age women, Moms, Parents, Public Speaking, Stay at Home Moms, Teachers, Uncategorized, women, Women in Ministry, Women's Ministries, Writers

Count down to Launch…

“We need to fail down here so we don’t fail up there,” ~ quote by Neil Armstrong character in the 2018 feature film, “First Man”.

What a powerful statement that was in the movie. If you’ve seen this one, or any of the films out there that tells the stories of the heroic measures taken by the USA astronauts, you know how important it is to prepare. 

Even for all the preparations they did on the ground, there still have been unseen catastrophic accidents in space. These astronauts train and plan for months and years, and still at times the outcome is not what anyone expects.

I can’t help but remember the devastating reality of watching the Challenger explode in the air shortly after take off. It didn’t seem real. Everyone had done their job. There was an elementary teacher on board. It was special. It was commemorative. It had been incredibly anticipated. But it had not ended well.

No one expected failure. 

Yet, there are so many successful missions that have occurred in our history of space exploration and there are more to come!

So where am I going with all of this you ask? It’s not going to be a history lesson…but one of hope as we launch a different kind of adventurer.

Our kids!

This is the time of year where graduations are upon us. Especially those with students graduating from high school, with the realities of college quickly approaching, we hear the term “launch” a lot!

Just as astronauts have to take classes to learn about space, science, medical procedures, various languages, microgravity (it’s a thing!), public speaking, math, survival training, buoyancy, mechanics, and about a million other things ~ our kids have to through a lot of training too.

We have to trust that when we launch them out into the world as new college Freshman, they will recall all that they have been taught in school, all the things we have instilled in them as they grew up, and all that they learned from God’s Word ~ and pray that the path they walk will be one of celebration and not failure.

I’ll share some great scriptures to pray over your kids in a bit, but I’m just fascinated with the similarities between launching a space craft and launching our kids to leave the proverbial nest.

According to the National Association of Rocketry Launching Requirements**, there are a million little things that go into those few moments of launching something into space. Here are a few of the most important categories.

You need:

  • a Range Safety officer who is in a Senior leadership position and must be in good standing with the NAR and their presence is a MUST for things to happen in a timely manner
  • the Flying Field needs (among other things) to have a definite set of boundaries
  • a Safety Check to make sure the rocket and all its parts are operational and deemed safe
  • the Launching Device is used to keep the rocket level until it has reached a safe speed after take off
  • specific Launch Height (not too close to the ground prior to lift off)
  • Momentum that comes from the rocket itself
  • and last but not least, Ignition ~ this can ONLY be conducted by REMOTE ACCESS a safe distance away from the rocket.

One of the instructions that caught my attention was this:

“All persons in the vicinity of any launching must be advised that a launching is imminent before a [model] rocket may be ignited or launched. A minimum five-second audible countdown must be given before ignition or launching of a [model] rocket.”

Are ya with me here as we transfer the images of a launching a rocket to that of “launching” our kids?

As parents, we are called by God to:

  • be the resident “Safety Officer”, where we can only lead our kids well while we remain in His presence as we venture forth in the raising of our children.
  • have a home-field where there are specific boundaries set up for each age and stage of growth our children encounter. Without boundaries, we don’t know where the kids are off to and our children don’t have any concept that they are expected to operate in the great big world out there with boundaries intact!
  • perform frequent safety checks ~ those might look like family bible study, prayer time, or good old-fashioned conversations. And when safety checks fail, there must be specific consequences to fix the problem…and they usually take longer than we anticipate to correct!
  • be a fixed point of consistency and focus so that when the first attempts at launching take place, we are there to assist at keeping our kids upright before the Lord and themselves.
  • be just close enough to step in should help be required, but far enough away to allow our kids to make mistakes and learn to figure out how to readjust.
  • light the fire in the hearts of each of our kids so they can see what God has created them for. We all have a purpose and you don’t have to wait until after college to figure this out. Each of our kids gifts and talents will grow, change, and mature through the years and we are the best cheerleaders in their lives to pray God’s clarity into their heart for what He has planned for them. {and prayer is the BEST momentum we can give our kids!}
  • LET GO!  The best way to successfully launch our kiddos into the world of college and beyond, is to do it from a distance.

Whew!  That’s a lot to take in but it’s all so worth it! Especially that last part! We do not do any favor to our children by making their path smooth for their entire life. That is NOT reality ~ and who do you think they will come back to blame when life doesn’t “go their way”?  The parents!

To the “lawnmower” or “snowplow” parent ~  STOP!! LET GO!! I say this in love to you…please let go and allow the Lord to help you navigate this crazy adventure called parenting.

It’s okay to let your kids fail…because failing at home while they are young is safe. Home is a safe place to land and a safe spot to figure out how to do better the next go around. And it’s really REALLY okay not to be your kids friend…be confident to BE the parent! That’s your job…the friendship comes later…and it’s oh so sweet!!

Re-read that quote from the first line and think about it in terms of raising your children: “We need to let our kids fail while they are still living at home so they don’t fail in dealing with reality after they leave the nest.”

Watching your children fail is NOT fun! But do you know how I know for sure we can handle, and they will survive it?

God loves us, His children, and we fail on the daily. But through His wise instruction and by us remaining in His presence, we learn how to do life better every day. He doesn’t ever give up on us when we take a misstep (or 1000). He’s always right there waiting to help us get back up on our feet and try again.

We can be that safe space for our kids too!

I didn’t always handle the “misfires” of my children’s youth with the grace and dexterity of spirit as I would have liked, but I know that with the Lord’s guidance {and loads of prayer!} my husband and I have raised three amazing young women who are setting the world on fire with the gifts and talents He has given them!

I still remember one of the hardest and best pieces of advice a mentor-mom gave me when our oldest daughter was just a few months old…and even now that she’s 25 and married, this phrase still makes me tear up…

She said, “You are raising up your children in order to let them go.”

What? I didn’t want to hear that!!! Seriously!!! But she was so very very right!

You don’t blow up a balloon just to watch it deflate. No, you carefully fill up that balloon with just the right amount, and let it go! Even if that little balloon gets tangled up, or loses altitude, or goes side-ways instead of up for a bit of time, it does rise. And it is a beautiful thing to watch.

Be confident as you prepare your littles for that inevitable day!

Be secure as you help your child pack up all the stuff they need and move them into their college dorm in the Fall.

You can do this! Watching your child become an adult is a beautiful kind of launch. And when they need it, they know how to get back to the launching pad to talk to the “resident safety officer” ~ and we can help lead them back to a secure take off once again.

Rockets aren’t meant to remain on the launching field ~ they are meant to soar!!

Blessings,

René

Earth Hour

 

 ~ Here’s a few of verses I told ya about to pray for your kiddos…no matter their age ~ 

Psalm 5:3 AMP “In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; In the morning I will prepare [a prayer and a sacrifice] for You and watch and wait [for You to speak to my heart].”

Psalm 87:1 AMP His foundation is on the holy mountain.

Psalm 21:4-7 AMP He asked life of You, And You gave it to him, Long life forever and evermore. His glory is great because of Your victory; Splendor and majesty You bestow upon him. For You make him most blessed [and a blessing] forever; You make him joyful with the joy of Your presence. For the king [confidently] trusts in the LORD, And through the lovingkindness (faithfulness, goodness) of the Most High he will never be shaken.”

Epehsians 4:1-3 AMP So I, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to you to live a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called [that is, to live a life that exhibits godly character, moral courage, personal integrity, and mature behavior–a life that expresses gratitude to God for your salvation], with all humility [forsaking self-righteousness], and gentleness [maintaining self-control], with patience, bearing with one another in [unselfish] love. Make every effort to keep the oneness of the Spirit in the bond of peace [each individual working together to make the whole successful].”

I Corinthians 3:9-11 AMP For we are God’s fellow workers [His servants working together]; you are God’s cultivated field [His garden, His vineyard], God’s building. According to the [remarkable] grace of God which was given to me [to prepare me for my task], like a skillful master builder I laid a foundation, and now another is building on it. But each one must be careful how he builds on it, for no one can lay a foundation other than the one which is [already] laid, which is Jesus Christ.”

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].

 

 **{Launching Requirements | National Association of Rocketry}