“We need to fail down here so we don’t fail up there,” ~ quote by Neil Armstrong character in the 2018 feature film, “First Man”.
What a powerful statement that was in the movie. If you’ve seen this one, or any of the films out there that tells the stories of the heroic measures taken by the USA astronauts, you know how important it is to prepare.
Even for all the preparations they did on the ground, there still have been unseen catastrophic accidents in space. These astronauts train and plan for months and years, and still at times the outcome is not what anyone expects.
I can’t help but remember the devastating reality of watching the Challenger explode in the air shortly after take off. It didn’t seem real. Everyone had done their job. There was an elementary teacher on board. It was special. It was commemorative. It had been incredibly anticipated. But it had not ended well.
No one expected failure.
Yet, there are so many successful missions that have occurred in our history of space exploration and there are more to come!
So where am I going with all of this you ask? It’s not going to be a history lesson…but one of hope as we launch a different kind of adventurer.
Our kids!
This is the time of year where graduations are upon us. Especially those with students graduating from high school, with the realities of college quickly approaching, we hear the term “launch” a lot!
Just as astronauts have to take classes to learn about space, science, medical procedures, various languages, microgravity (it’s a thing!), public speaking, math, survival training, buoyancy, mechanics, and about a million other things ~ our kids have to through a lot of training too.
We have to trust that when we launch them out into the world as new college Freshman, they will recall all that they have been taught in school, all the things we have instilled in them as they grew up, and all that they learned from God’s Word ~ and pray that the path they walk will be one of celebration and not failure.
I’ll share some great scriptures to pray over your kids in a bit, but I’m just fascinated with the similarities between launching a space craft and launching our kids to leave the proverbial nest.
According to the National Association of Rocketry Launching Requirements**, there are a million little things that go into those few moments of launching something into space. Here are a few of the most important categories.
You need:
- a Range Safety officer who is in a Senior leadership position and must be in good standing with the NAR and their presence is a MUST for things to happen in a timely manner
- the Flying Field needs (among other things) to have a definite set of boundaries
- a Safety Check to make sure the rocket and all its parts are operational and deemed safe
- the Launching Device is used to keep the rocket level until it has reached a safe speed after take off
- specific Launch Height (not too close to the ground prior to lift off)
- Momentum that comes from the rocket itself
- and last but not least, Ignition ~ this can ONLY be conducted by REMOTE ACCESS a safe distance away from the rocket.
One of the instructions that caught my attention was this:
“All persons in the vicinity of any launching must be advised that a launching is imminent before a [model] rocket may be ignited or launched. A minimum five-second audible countdown must be given before ignition or launching of a [model] rocket.”
Are ya with me here as we transfer the images of a launching a rocket to that of “launching” our kids?
As parents, we are called by God to:
- be the resident “Safety Officer”, where we can only lead our kids well while we remain in His presence as we venture forth in the raising of our children.
- have a home-field where there are specific boundaries set up for each age and stage of growth our children encounter. Without boundaries, we don’t know where the kids are off to and our children don’t have any concept that they are expected to operate in the great big world out there with boundaries intact!
- perform frequent safety checks ~ those might look like family bible study, prayer time, or good old-fashioned conversations. And when safety checks fail, there must be specific consequences to fix the problem…and they usually take longer than we anticipate to correct!
- be a fixed point of consistency and focus so that when the first attempts at launching take place, we are there to assist at keeping our kids upright before the Lord and themselves.
- be just close enough to step in should help be required, but far enough away to allow our kids to make mistakes and learn to figure out how to readjust.
- light the fire in the hearts of each of our kids so they can see what God has created them for. We all have a purpose and you don’t have to wait until after college to figure this out. Each of our kids gifts and talents will grow, change, and mature through the years and we are the best cheerleaders in their lives to pray God’s clarity into their heart for what He has planned for them. {and prayer is the BEST momentum we can give our kids!}
- LET GO! The best way to successfully launch our kiddos into the world of college and beyond, is to do it from a distance.
Whew! That’s a lot to take in but it’s all so worth it! Especially that last part! We do not do any favor to our children by making their path smooth for their entire life. That is NOT reality ~ and who do you think they will come back to blame when life doesn’t “go their way”? The parents!
To the “lawnmower” or “snowplow” parent ~ STOP!! LET GO!! I say this in love to you…please let go and allow the Lord to help you navigate this crazy adventure called parenting.
It’s okay to let your kids fail…because failing at home while they are young is safe. Home is a safe place to land and a safe spot to figure out how to do better the next go around. And it’s really REALLY okay not to be your kids friend…be confident to BE the parent! That’s your job…the friendship comes later…and it’s oh so sweet!!
Re-read that quote from the first line and think about it in terms of raising your children: “We need to let our kids fail while they are still living at home so they don’t fail in dealing with reality after they leave the nest.”
Watching your children fail is NOT fun! But do you know how I know for sure we can handle, and they will survive it?
God loves us, His children, and we fail on the daily. But through His wise instruction and by us remaining in His presence, we learn how to do life better every day. He doesn’t ever give up on us when we take a misstep (or 1000). He’s always right there waiting to help us get back up on our feet and try again.
We can be that safe space for our kids too!
I didn’t always handle the “misfires” of my children’s youth with the grace and dexterity of spirit as I would have liked, but I know that with the Lord’s guidance {and loads of prayer!} my husband and I have raised three amazing young women who are setting the world on fire with the gifts and talents He has given them!
I still remember one of the hardest and best pieces of advice a mentor-mom gave me when our oldest daughter was just a few months old…and even now that she’s 25 and married, this phrase still makes me tear up…
She said, “You are raising up your children in order to let them go.”
What? I didn’t want to hear that!!! Seriously!!! But she was so very very right!
You don’t blow up a balloon just to watch it deflate. No, you carefully fill up that balloon with just the right amount, and let it go! Even if that little balloon gets tangled up, or loses altitude, or goes side-ways instead of up for a bit of time, it does rise. And it is a beautiful thing to watch.
Be confident as you prepare your littles for that inevitable day!
Be secure as you help your child pack up all the stuff they need and move them into their college dorm in the Fall.
You can do this! Watching your child become an adult is a beautiful kind of launch. And when they need it, they know how to get back to the launching pad to talk to the “resident safety officer” ~ and we can help lead them back to a secure take off once again.
Rockets aren’t meant to remain on the launching field ~ they are meant to soar!!
Blessings,
René
~ Here’s a few of verses I told ya about to pray for your kiddos…no matter their age ~
Psalm 5:3 AMP “In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; In the morning I will prepare [a prayer and a sacrifice] for You and watch and wait [for You to speak to my heart].”
Psalm 87:1 AMP “His foundation is on the holy mountain.”
Psalm 21:4-7 AMP “He asked life of You, And You gave it to him, Long life forever and evermore. His glory is great because of Your victory; Splendor and majesty You bestow upon him. For You make him most blessed [and a blessing] forever; You make him joyful with the joy of Your presence. For the king [confidently] trusts in the LORD, And through the lovingkindness (faithfulness, goodness) of the Most High he will never be shaken.”
Epehsians 4:1-3 AMP “So I, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to you to live a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called [that is, to live a life that exhibits godly character, moral courage, personal integrity, and mature behavior–a life that expresses gratitude to God for your salvation], with all humility [forsaking self-righteousness], and gentleness [maintaining self-control], with patience, bearing with one another in [unselfish] love. Make every effort to keep the oneness of the Spirit in the bond of peace [each individual working together to make the whole successful].”
I Corinthians 3:9-11 AMP “For we are God’s fellow workers [His servants working together]; you are God’s cultivated field [His garden, His vineyard], God’s building. According to the [remarkable] grace of God which was given to me [to prepare me for my task], like a skillful master builder I laid a foundation, and now another is building on it. But each one must be careful how he builds on it, for no one can lay a foundation other than the one which is [already] laid, which is Jesus Christ.”
Romans 12:2 “And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].“
**{Launching Requirements | National Association of Rocketry}
Broken & Blessed~Adventures in Gratutide! 