Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash
My daughter Sierra recently said to me, “Well, you can’t eat fruit from a seed.” I challenged her because you absolutely can. She pointed out that if she handed me a seed and said, “Take a bite.”, it wouldn’t really be taking a bite of the fruit. It’s not ready yet. Um, hello? What is that phrase…’out of the mouths of babes!’ Okay, I mean, she’s 20 years old but still! Preachin’ to her mama!
This comment was made after I shared with her my epiphany that I was trying to get something off the ground too fast. I knew what I needed to do and I knew that God has definitely called me to begin a new ministry, but I was rushing it. That’s not so bad, but I have known that I was rushing it for a while now. And what’s worse, is that because I haven’t wanted to give voice to what I knew the Holy Spirit was telling me, I’ve also brought along the group of women who’ve said they want to join me in launching this ministry, and have made them wait unnecessarily.
Hello, my name is Rene’, and I’m stubborn.
When this ministry started bubbling in my heart more than a year ago, I was so excited! I wrote down all my thoughts and what the Lord was whispering to my heart. I talked to my husband and my kids and they were all super supportive. I prayed over a list of friends to join me in this endeavor. I sent emails. I made phone calls. I hired a web designer. My daughter created logos for me. I’ve planned conference, retreats, day events, fundraising dinners, bible studies, small groups, prayer groups, etc., more than I can count.
I’ve got this.
And I launched the ministry this past Fall to great excitement and support from family, friends, and social media friends. My friend Gus even helped me create a fantastic fundraising video for GoFundMe and it’s up and running! It was all coming together.
There have been plenty of moments in the past 5 months that I’ve been tempted to doubt that God really called me to this, but I battled those negative thoughts and won. The Lord and I are in this together. I have full support from my husband and phenomenal friends from across the US who feel the same.
But I’ll admit, all the new things I’ve seen pop up ~ ministries, day and weekend retreats, websites, books, bible studies ~ all the things have made me doubt there’s room for this new ministry.
So this has been a process for me of constantly going before the Lord and giving it back to Him. He has called me to it and I know He will “launch” all the things when the time is right. The mere fact that He has given me so many ideas is proof that this ministry WILL have it’s time and it’s more than okay that all the things don’t happen all at the beginning!
Remember what I told you at the beginning of this blog of what my daughter said to me?
“You can’t eat fruit from the seed.”
Dang! It’s true!
I mean, the fruit will come from the seed, but you can’t open the seed expecting to find fruit that is ready for consumption. And if you try to, you’re actually killing the seed before it even has the opportunity to produce the good fruit.
So now, I’ve come to this conclusion that some of the plans I was moving forward to make happen need to wait a year or so (or whatever God’s timing has to say about it); now the hardest part is to tell my awesome team members.
I don’t even have a “live” website yet (btw…it’s coming in early March 2020) and there is not the platform that is needed to gather the people for events yet. It takes time. It takes commitment and hustle to get the word out and garner a following. Just because I think this new ministry is something that is needed and something I know is from the heart of God for me to do, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen overnight.
Through all of this I have learned (well, more accurately, still learning) to take a deeper pause when I feel that I’m rushing. When I feel like I’m pushing something to be created faster than possible, that’s a pretty good indicator that I’m running ahead of God. Putting in the hard work of creating a website, an email list of interested parties, partnering with businesses who share my heart, and honestly, finding the people who want more of God in their life. There’s so much more that I must DO before the “end game” fruit is ready to eat!
There will come a day when the email list is in the thousands, when the day retreats will happen, when the weekend retreats happen, even when the merchandise happens…but until then, I must be patient and not rush the fruit of what God intends to grow. After all, it’s His ministry and He will guide it where it should go.
Oh, I don’t want to forget to tell you what I heard from my team members, my friends, after I let them know that I need to pull back and have a bit of a re-start.
Let’s just say I’ve got two words for ya ~
I’ve heard from just about everyone now (at the point I’m writing this blog) and they are all so supportive. A couple of them are actually relieved! They were feeling a halting in their spirit and weren’t sure they could continue moving forward with the way I had been planning. Boy, if that isn’t spiritual confirmation! Even my friend who is our web designer was feeling the same way and was completely relieved to hear that I was initiating this pause and time of re-direction and foundation building.
This is why I need and want a team with me!! We are on our way to creating a great foundation in 2020, reaping the fruit as growth provides it when ready.
I’m already so excited for how God is going to move in the hearts of young women to find this new ministry, Awake & Arise: A Gathering for Women! We do have our Instagram and facebook pages, but the activity will really step up in late February/early March! Be sure to check it out!
And as I’m on the analogy of fruit, the following verses of course came to mind and I’d love to share them with you.
John 15:5 AMP, “I am the Vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him bears much fruit, for [otherwise] apart from Me [that is, cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing.”
John 15:14-17 AMP, “You are my friends if you keep on doing what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you [My] friends, because I have revealed to you everything that I have heard from My Father. You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and I have appointed and placed and purposefully planted you, so that you would go and bear fruit and keep on bearing, and that your fruit will remain and be lasting, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name [as My representative] He may give to you. This [is what] I command you: that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another.”
If you’ve got something stirring in your heart, always be sure to carry it loosely so the Lord can grow it how He intends. His timing is always best. The fruit of any endeavor He has laid on your heart will grow in the best way, in the best time, and will provide the best return for your obedience!
Let the seeds God is planted, or already has planted, settle into the deep soil of your heart being watered by the Holy Spirit. It’ll be a joy when that seed blooms to its full potential!
And hey, I’d love to hear all about it! Let me know what God is putting on your heart! You know, if He called you to it, He will equip you to do it!!